Fresh Jokes of the Day
Joke 1:
Teacher: Why are you late to school?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What sign?
Student: “School Ahead, Go Slow!”
Joke 2:
Wife: I lost my mobile somewhere.
Husband: Okay, call it from my phone.
Wife: Found it, it was in my hand only.
Husband: Great! Now find my peace of mind the same way.
Joke 3:
Doctor: You need to take this medicine after every meal.
Patient: Okay, but how will it work if I skip meals?
Joke 4:
Boss: You are late again today!
Employee: Sir, I had a dream I was traveling the world…
Boss: So what?
Employee: I missed my stop and woke up late!
Joke 5:
Friend 1: Do you know why math teachers are always worried?
Friend 2: No, why?
Friend 1: Because they have too many “problems.”
Santa-Banta Jokes Collection
- Santa: Yaar Banta, doctor ne kaha exercise kar.
Banta: Toh main subah 5 baje uth ke gym gaya.
Santa: Wah! Fir kya kiya?
Banta: Gym band tha… toh main wapas aake 2 ghante so gaya.
- Banta: Santa, tu itna dukhi kyu lag raha hai?
Santa: Yaar, biwi ke birthday pe gift dena bhool gaya.
Banta: Fir kya kiya?
Santa: Usko kaha “Surprise! Main tumhe agle saal do gifts dunga.”
- Teacher: Santa, agar tere paas 10 chocolate hain aur maine 4 le li, toh kitni bachi?
Santa: 10! Main aapko chocolate dunga hi kyun?
- Banta: Santa, tu photo khinchwa ke kyun hans nahi raha?
Santa: Pagal hai kya, passport photo mein hansi aa gayi toh border pe guard confuse ho jaayega ki main mazaak kar raha hoon.
- Santa: Yaar Banta, kal main ATM gaya tha paisa nikalne.
Banta: Fir?
Santa: Screen pe likha aaya “Insert Card.”
Banta: Toh?
Santa: Main turant ghar bhaag gaya… socha koi mujhe card khilane wala hai.
- Santa: Biwi mujhe kahti hai romantic ban.
Banta: Fir tu kya karta hai?
Santa: Main uske mobile ka password change kar deta hoon… puri raat wo mujhe hi dekhti rehti hai.
- Santa: Yaar, main apna weight kam karna chahta hoon.
Banta: Fir kya plan hai?
Santa: Bas scale ke upar khade hote waqt main apni saans rok leta hoon.
- Teacher: Santa, tu exam mein fail kyun hua?
Santa: Kyunki exam ke samay mere saath koi bhi group study karne ko tayar nahi tha.
- Banta: Santa, tu roj subah chai peene se pehle newspaper kyun padhta hai?
Santa: Kyunki mujhe dekhna hota hai ki kal kaun mar gaya… agar mera naam usmein nahi hai, tabhi main chai peeta hoon.
- Santa: Banta, tu shaadi ke baad kaisa feel kar raha hai?
Banta: Jaise India World Cup jeetne ke baad feel karta hai… pehle khushi, phir thakaan, aur fir sirf zimmedaari.
- Doctor: Santa ji, aapko diabetes hai, mithai kam khaya karo.
Santa: Arey doctor sahib, mithai toh main sirf khushi ke mauke pe khata hoon.
Doctor: Accha, kaunse mauke pe?
Santa: Roz shaam 5 baje jab kaam se bachkar ghar aa jata hoon.
- Banta: Santa, tu online shopping kyun nahi karta?
Santa: Kyunki mujhe darr lagta hai ki internet waale address galat jagah na bhej dein… ek baar main pizza order kiya tha, delivery wala khud kha gaya!
- Santa: Kal biwi ne mujhe kaha ki surprise do.
Banta: Fir kya kiya?
Santa: Main bina bataye ghar 2 ghante pehle aa gaya… aur phir mujhe hi bada surprise mil gaya!
- Banta: Santa, tu gym join kyun nahi karta?
Santa: Kyunki yaar, maine suna hai wahan membership lene ke baad bhi saman khud uthana padta hai.
- Santa: Mujhe tension ho rahi hai.
Banta: Kya hua?
Santa: Mobile mein likha “Low Battery.”
Banta: Usmein tension ki kya baat hai?
Santa: Arrey biwi ne kaha tha, ghar aate hi mujhe light ho jana hai.